r a w r [;pero i'm a tired kitty . i just qot home from doinq a overniqht at the job but of course it is just like me to not be sleepiee at all; smh .. just when my sleepinq habits were finally startinq to be requlated .
i'm also a little weirded out because it seems that the ex stood up all niqht soo that he could call me as soon as i qot out of work at 6.30am .. even thouqh he has work at 9 . let's not mention the two times he called while i was still at work . & since i've been out, he's called me abt 5 times . i say "it seems" because i haven't answered any of them . maybe any other chick would think this was cute that he wanted to hear my voice or just speak to me or whatever, but beinq that this niqqa never did any shit like that durinq the whole year & a half we went out, i'm a little confused as to why he's doinq this now . it seems he qets more & more clinqy as the days qo by: callinq me every 5 min, wantinq to chill all the fckinq time, & just random ass shit that weirds me out sometimes . i mean, i know that in his head its cuz he thinks he losinq me but in reality, i am lonq fckinq qone & my attemptinq to pull me back in, he's only pushinq me further away . & i feel bad cuz he doesn't seem to have a clue but i don't wanna hurt him .. uqh .
other than that, i am rather pissed off after overhearinq a conversation my father just had with his other dauqhter . niqqas is probably readinq that like uhm .. you mean your sister ? but to that i say fuckkkk outtaa hereee . i mean i supposed qenetics would imply that she was exactly that but i will never acknowledqe her as such . i would even qo as far to say that she is dead to me & that i surely do not qive to two fucks abt anythinq that happens to her cuz karmas a fckinq btch & one day she's qonna feel the pain that she caused everyone for soo lonq .. since i know all of you are hella curious now, here's my reasoninq : the story beqins when this btch was spawned from my fathers previous marriaqe . fastfoward hella years, after he remarried to my mom & had me & the lil bro, shit was cool, she was in my life when i was younqer, i loved her & she even had a baby - my fckinq niece who i absolutely adored . suddenly, out of fckinq nowhere the btch just woke up & decided that she hated my father for "abadoninq her when she was younqer", which was fckinq bullshit - especially since the btch was already twentysomethinq at the time . from that point on, i NEVER EVER saw or heard from my her or my niece . for soooo many years i witnessed my fathers pain & desperate attempts to qain her forqiveness, thouqh he knew he did nothinq wronq . i remember he would send a card & letter to her & her dauqther for every birthday & holiday & the btch neverrrr wrote back . christmas he'd always bouqht them presents & would qive them to other relatives to qive to them since he didn't even know where they lived anymore . she never sent back so much as a thanks . once i even overheard my uncle tellinq him that she was tellinq ppl that her father was dead . WTFFF. all of this went on for abt 11 fckinq years .
what pains me the most is that the moment she decided to act like shit was all cool & as if it never happened, my dad was moree than fckinq estatic to have her back in his life . i hear him on the fone tellinq her he loves her & i even hear her cheerful voice on the other line callinq him daddy & i wanna just snatch the fone away & tell her to suck a dick & die . my niece is already 16 . i have a nephew & i don't even know his fckinq name . & she's my sister ?! she wasn't there for my 1st boyfriend, my prom, or qraduation . FUCK HER - she's not shit to me . & what's more, she don't fckinq deserve to be able to call my father daddy ..
okaay soo thats the end of my explanation .
reason beinq that i'm qettin too fckinq emotional writinq abt it
& its too early in the day to be cryinq .
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