la la la . .

okaay sorry ppl i haven't really been on my bloqqinq shit lately but my the keyboard of my computer is broken soo i've been sufferinq & usinq the on the screen keyboard - que fckinq annyoinq >:[

i hope everyone had a qood thanksqivinq . me, of course i had hellaaa spic food to eat soo i was hype beinq the little fatass i am . then i went to chill with the ex ( i know, i know ! i do it to myself ) & had maad of his mom's food too . then there were L's & such & i was pretty satisfied .

the next day was blaack friday & i had work ; holy shit was it hectic ! pero, after i qot out i had hella fun shoppinq with my bad btchs onixh & jelly <3 took advantaqe of the sales, qot some cute shit & then blew it down with my niqqa eddie . slept over jelly & ate hella muchies lmao . sooo toniqht is my first not back since thanksqivinq - i wasn't qone lonq but as they say, there's no place like home [;

anywaysss peep this :katy perry & travie from gym class heroes .
not exactly fly force like chris brown & rihanna
but pretty fckinq cute reqardless ; i adore them both [:

hello, kitty ; hello, hella cute shit i want :D

for the record, i have the sickest obsession with hello kitty - no not bcuz its the "cool thinq" but cuz hello kitty has been my btch since baack in the day & ppl used to always say it was childish of me but of course now everyone & their moms is suckin her . but anywayssss point beinq that hello kitty is now everywhere you look & a lot of biq names are doinq collaborations with her . i, of course, am thrilled as i continue to spend a qood deal of my checks on random hello kitty shit lol .

the latest name that's down with the kitty is, my favorite makeup brand, MAC . woopwoop ! they've come up with different palettes & accessories that have been inspired by the most awesome kitty everrrrrr !



the hello kitty collection consists of two collections: the hello kitty colour collection and the more high-end hello kitty kouture. the hello kitty colour collection includes “six shades of lipstick with names like fashion mews and strayin’, each $14; six lipglass shades, each $14; and two tinted lip conditioners, $14.50 each; two eye shadow palettes, which each contain four shades and retail for $38; two shades of pigment are $19.50 each, and two reflects glitter stockkeeping units — one blue, one pink — are $17.50 each. four glitter eye liners, each $16.50, two shades of beauty powder, each $22; three shades of nail polish, each $11; a black mascara, $12, and false lashes, $12, round out the color offerings. shades range from pinks and turquoises to lavenders and greens.”

the hello kitty kouture collection is more of a high-end line and great for collectors as well. the range consists of “two shades of dazzleglass, each $28, each feature a reusable silver chain pendant with hello kitty outlined in white swarovski crystals on black with a pink crystal bow. sheer mystery powder, $90 and available in three shades, is packaged in a silver powder compact with hello kitty outlined in white swarovski crystals with a pink crystal bow on a black background.

there’s also a line of accessories: a petite makeup bag ($22), a medium makeup bag ($35), a plush doll ($42), purse mirror ($22), three-brush collection ($49.50), a mirrored key clip ($16), beaded bracelet ($34), a tote ($45) and soft vanity kit ($55).

the limited edition collection will be available at mac’s website on february 10, 2009 and in mac US stores on february 12, 2009 .

* also, sold exclusively in hot topic stores : mad barbarians for hello kitty, the mad barbarians beinq two artists from japan . their shit is pretty cute tho ..



i work at hot topic .. soooo wudduppppp discount [:
qet your own at hottopic.com

the ex factor .

rawr . i'm just a little annoyed riqht abt now .. fck that, i'm hella annoyed .. & there's just soo much shit on my mind riqht now i'm just qonna have to vent ..

well, i just qot off the fone w my ex . a brief history on us : we were close friends for abt 5yrs before we beqan datinq over a year & a half aqo in the summer . as all relationships are in the beqinninq, shit was pretty sweet for the most part - hella flirtinq, beinq toqether 24/7, & hella hella od fckinqqq (lmfao i'm beinq deadass honest) . we used to arque every sinqle day tho, cuz he's a bipolar shithead, but there was no possible way for us to be mad at each other for more than 5 minutes soo shit was always still cool . we were pretty crazy abt each other .. but qradually - soo slow & qradual i didn't even peep it when it was happeninq - that feelinq started to dissappear . he deadass has hella bipolar tendencies soo he would qet mad over the dumbest littlest shit & make it into the biqqest issue .. slowly he crossed from beinq my boyfriend to tryna be my father - always btchinq abt shit i did & how i did thinqs, always repremandinq me abt every little thinq he was dissatisfied with .. for some warped reason, i took this as him carinq abt me but i hated him beinq upset all the time soo when i was with him i did everythinq in my power to keep him pacified . but eventually, my closest friends told me that i was becominq a zombie around him .. it seems that i was soo afraid to make him mad & btch abt shit that when i was with him, i let him run shit - & i'd barely talk or do much of anythinq beside just sit there, soo that i couldn't qive him anythinq to complain abt .. but i loved him, soo i sacrificed myself in order to be with him . we used to break up over little arquments but his bipolar ass would always call me at the end of the day, while i was out with my friends drunk & tryna not to think abt him, to say that he only said what he said cuz he was mad, that he didn't mean any of it, & that we were still toqether .

but in april o8, we had our first real breakup . it was 4/20 (smh whatta way to ruined my fckinq day) & at the end of the day he called, but it was to say that he was beinq serious & that he really didn't think shit was workinq out . the next morninq, when i woke up for work, shit hit me & i started spazzinq out . i tried to compose myself but the moment my mom asked me what was wronq, i was hysterical aqain . i told my mom what happened & literally wept to her for an hour straiqht . i could see how badly it hurt her to see me in soo much pain over some boy & she beqan puttinq some sense into my head . slowly i beqan to remember who i was before him - how much self worth i had & how HAPPY i was . i loved & respected myself & i had lost everythinq i was to be submissive to him . i had to recall my independent way of thinkinq & doinq thinqs - i almost had to start from scratch but with this as another notch on the belt, i was definitely stronqer than before . i cut him off ; no fone calls, no texts, no IMs, no myspace msqs . he never saw it cominq, he was qoinq crazy . & after a month or so of nothinqness, i took him back . stupid ? probably . but i still loved him & with my new & improved independent state of mind, i thouqht thinqs would be different .. but they weren't . he was still the same - the only thinq that was different was my attitude & my reactions & responses to what he did . then, he felt like i was tryna be hard & touqh when in his eyes i was pussy .. soo a few weeks after our 1yr anniversary, it was deaded aqain . & this time, i was the one was called to say that i really felt shit wasn't workinq out & that i really did not want to be with him .

HOWEVER . i'm still a fckinq idiot . cuz now i kinda started messinq with him aqain (as i spoke abt in my nov. 8th post) & i really have no clue as to why . i still don't want to be with him & i'm not even sure how i feel abt him . the loqical part of me tells me that i'm just fckinq with him bcuz i need at least some type of lovin & since i'm not no hoe, i'm not just qonna jump to fckinq the next niqqa . & i've been with him for over a year so i'm already used to him & comfortable around him & blahblahblah . but there is another part of me that says its somethinq more - that there is somethinq (tho for the life of me i cannot pinpoint it) that just keeps attractinq me back to him like a moth to a flame .. or maybe a buq zapper would be a better example . but i feel like a fckinq hypocrite for doinq this . i feel like he's never qonna learn or chanqe if i stay around .. i just wish it was easier for me to move on . but its winter & niqqas is hibernatinq & aint never much to do soo i'm kinda stuck & idk what to do . it's like now that he sees that i can live without him, he can't leave me alone . he's always callinq, always wants to be with me .. like its just weird .

uqhhhhhhhhh !!
i fckinq HATE my life .
somebody plz help me ?

who's there to save the hero ?

pero of course, leave it up to my btch; queen bee, to pinpoint & express exactly how i'm feelinq riqht now ..



I lay alone awake at night
Sorrow fills my eyes
But I’m not strong enough to cry
Despite of my disguise
I’m left with no shoulder
But everybody wants to lean on me.
I guess I’m their soldier.
Well, who’s gonna be mine

Who’s there to save the hero
When she’s left all alone
And she’s crying out for help.
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the girl…
After she saves the world
After she saves the world.

I bottle all my hurt inside,
I guess I’m living a lie.
Inside my mind each day i die
What can bring me back to life?
A simple word, a gesture
Someone to say you’re beautiful
Come find this buried treasure
Rainbows lead to a pot of gold

Who’s there to save the hero
When she’s left all alone
And she’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the girl
After she saves the world…
After she saves the world.

I’ve given too much of myself
And now it’s driving me crazy
(I’m crying out for help)
Sometimes I wish someone would
Just come here and save me…
Save me from myself

Who’s there to save the hero
When she’s left all alone
And she’s crying out for help
Who’s there to save the hero
Who’s there to save the girl
After she saves the world…
After she saves the world.

ooh bite me baby [;

okaay well as you may or may not know, today i took a little trip with the biffinqton to the movies today to see the highly anticipated (at least for dee & i lol) twiliqht . cuttinq straiqht to the point - i was sliqhtly disappointed by this movie . i loved the book soooo much but of course they couldn't portray everythinq; there were alot of missinq parts & parts that were not exactly as decribed in the book . also, i absolutely hated the chick they picked to play the main character, bella . her performance was quite borinq - not passionate at all - & just not that convincinq .

howeverrrrrr, i most definitley was not disspointed by the actor they chose to play edward - i was basically orqasminq throuqh the majority of the movie just from watchinq him . & i'll have to admit that the kissinq scene was pretty sexy too . i was satisfied . (siqh) anyways i hear the movie for the second book, new moon, is already in production or at least abt to be .. i do hope they try to make it more true to the book but even if it they don't, i will still be completely satisfied just watchinq edwards perfectly perfect ass . like seriously . pour some suqar on that niqqaaaaa [; yummm .

one thinq i will say thouqh is that you most definitely should NOT see this movie before you read the book ! you won't be able to truly appreciate the story . i'm abt to read the series for the second time just for the hell of it [: i quess you could say that twiliqht is exactly my brand of heroin .


*orqasms*

don't judge me .

but i am ridiculously & qenuinely excited - scratch that - ecstatic abt qoinq to see the twiliqht movie . i swear to qod i'm not even half as bad as these other psycho shorties that be causinq fckn riots & whatnot but really .. i do love this shit & you really will not understand until you have read the book for yourself . the main dude in it - edward cullen is the epitome of the perfect quy ; like he deadass makes you question why all niqqas can't be like him & why all relationships can't be like his & bella's .


doesn't that shit just make you feel at least a little warm & fuzzy inside ? & there's more where that came from ; i swear there were parts soo beautiful i shed a few tears . don't you think i feel like the ultimate lame when i have to admit to some shit like that ?! but fuck it - if you really feel a certain way, plz don't hesitate to click the x in the upper riqhthand corner asap ..

as for my feelinqs on edward cullen, i'm don't usually favor the blankitos but after lovinq the character from the book soo much, i think he is absolutely delicious . i deadass have convulsions whenever i find an especially yummy pic of him & let me just say, that if he really did exsist, other niqqas would be out of a fckn job cuz he would be mine ! shitttt, he's fcknq fly for a white quy [; he definitely could qet it anytime .

anywhoo i can't wait to see the movieeeeee !
i'll definitely be updatinq yall later ♥

aye i'm in thereeee !

GRRR ! open for 4 weeks only !
what : reebok’s “flash” pop-up shop .
when : Nov. 15 - Dec. 14
where : 169 Bowery, New York, NY


every week the store is open a new, never been seen, limited edition reebok sneaker will be released and sold for that week only . throughout the month you can buy reebok apparel and footwear specially selected for the pop up store .


store hours : Tues/Wed (11 am - 7 pm)
Thurs/Fri/Sat (10 am - 7 pm)
Sunday (11am - 6 pm)


now tell me this shit doesn't look CRAACKK ! shit, i almost creamed myself when i read abt it . i fckn ♥ reebok ! definitley tryna qather a few heads to come with me down there .

& if that wasn't enouqh ..
que freakinq sexyyyyyyy ! makes me wanna hop on the nearest express train down there asap .. you qotta fckn love the city [:

i will rap circles around these new urkels ..

banqbanqbanq. BET cypher 3 - this shit is hella touqh . idk why they paired ace hood with these niqqas but i quess his verse aint all that bad .. thouqh i always fastfoward his part anyways lol .. freestyles are my shit cuz its soo poppin how all the punchlines are cominq off the top of artists' heads ! fab & jada killed this - cmnts anyone ?

in other news : i had to qo to court yesterday for this summons i qot back in septemebr for supposedly beinq in a park after dark . shit is, i wasn't even in the fckn park when they qave me, my ex, his homie, & my homeqirls mans the summons ! we was walkinq towards the park cuz we had been planninq to qo in but when we qot there we heard hella voices cominq from inside soo we wasn't with it & turned around to leave & that is when the cops rolled by . the dickheads stopped us, took our IDs & then went into the park to qet whateva ppl was in there, then came back out & qave us all a summons . i was hella heated . but on top of that when i went to court yesterday, at the fckn craack of dawn, it was discovered that the police never even filed the summons which was qood in a way but that just mean that they wasted my fckn time ! GRRR >:[ FUCK THE POLICE ! yall qets noooo love !! psh ..

& last but definitely not least i would like to wish a very
happy birthday to my niqqa ashton ♥
(ain't he cuteeee lol) ayeeee ! you're not a puppy no more; you're one of the biq doqqies now ! lmao .. hope you qet everythinq you want & have a qood birthday weekened cuz uhm today's wednesday & aint shit poppin off =/ muahsx !

i guess thats what i qet for wishful thinking

* rehab video - with my husband, J.T. [; hellz yes .


i fckn adoreee rihanna ♥ she's definitley is one of the fiercest btchs in the industry today ! i love how bold & fearless her style is but of couse she's still classy as fck . i'd hit itttt . AND she's with the love of my life, chris brown & i'm not mad at all bcuz he's fly, she's fly, & toqether they're like a fly FORCE . seriously ladies - stop hatinq & takes notes .



one of her ad's for GUCCI .


& the fly force ; they're soo freakinq cute, i can barely stand it .


here's to you, btch . stay fierce ♥

i am ..

.. diqqin the new beyonce cd hella od ! bee has always been my btch ; she's baad as hell, her vocals are ridiculous, & she's a total fashion icon -- not to mention wifey of one of the hottest dudes in the qame; my niqqa jayyyy [: & yet she still has remained humble & down to earth throuqh everythinq; you qotta fckn love her .

so anywayss, there have been leaks of her latest album, i am .. sasha fierce & i'm really lovin what've i've heard so far; i've been bumpin to it faithfully every day, althouqh i was disturbed when i first discovered that the title wasn't simply, 'i am ..' like i had oriqinally thouqht . & then i was even more disturbed at the rumor that she miqht want people to start addressinq her as sasha fierce . my first thouqht was 'wtf is she thinkinqqqqqq ?!' BEYONCE is a huqeeeeeee name in the industry that rinqs bells everywhere you qo & if she didnt want to be addressed as such she should've thouqht of that before she became an international superstar ! smh .. but let me not qet ahead of myself since theres been no offical annoucement & the true identity of sasha fierce is to be provided some time after the the release of the album on the 18th . i'm probably wronq abt this whole thinq & i hope i am; it didn't work for prince & it's not qonna work for her .

no matter what tho you can't help but respect her.
bee is just that btch [:

my guilty fckn pleasure

call me a loser if you want but, deadass, you can NOT talk shit until you have actually read this book . i am obsessed with the entire series ! for those of you who have no idea wtf twiliqht is - qet into it . basically the novel is abt a teenaqe qirl (bella swan) who moves from her moms crib to her dads, where she meets & falls in love with the mysterious edward cullen who just so happens to be ...... (wait for itttt) ...... a vampire . waitwaitwait ! now before you qo writinq me off as a fckn lame just know that i too was skeptical abt the whole idea, at first . i work at hot topic (hottopic.com) & we sell a shitload of twiliqht merchandise & every sinqle day there are dozens & dozens of people, ranqinq from squeaky ass voiced preteens to the oddly situated middle aqed (like wtf is you old ass even doinq in this store in the first place ?) -- both female AND male (includinq hetero niqqas), that would harass the shit out of me for all these shirts & baqs & pins & keychains & posters with certain characters & quotes & yaddayaddayadda .

at first i'm just like wtf is the matterrrr with this peoplee ?! how can you be soo obsessed with fictional characters to the point that you'd throw a twiliqht party & hand out free vampire teeth & discuss the books & listen to the soundtrack ?! i wish i was makinq this shit up but i'm not . anyways, at first i was amused, then hiqhly annoyed, & then i started becominq curious . i mean, even my boss is a twiliqht fanatic . sooo i decided to finally qive in & see what the fuss was all abt . & let me just say that once i picked the book up, i couldn't put it down - i was instantly hooked . i seriously walked around with the book in my biq ass purse & would read in my every spare moment . & then before i knew it, i was done with the first book & had a sick sick itch for the next one .. soo i proceeded . within a month's time, i have read 3 of the monster hardcovers & i'm currently procrastinatinq on finishinq up the fouth & last book simply bcuz i don't know what i'm qoinq to do once i'm finally done with the series . smh . pathetic, i know but i swear i'm not like the other psychos i just described but sometimes i do catch myself thinkinq 'holy fckn shitt .. i'm one of them .. i'm a twiliqht faqqot' ..

soo i've kept my addiction under wraps until the other day when i decided to lend the biffinqton the book since she complained she had nothinq to read when she was bored .. & today she has already finished the book & is itchinq for me to come & brinq her the 2nd one .. soo does that make us both losers ?! possibly . ORRRR it may mean that twiliqht just miqht be thaat fckn qood !! find out for yourself, btchs .

superBAD .

lmfaooo ! i could watch this fckn movie time & time aqain & still lauqh my ass off . seth is the shit; evan is hella virqinal & hilarious & mclovin is my baby daddy - seriously . me & the biffinqton can qet hellaa od bent & quote this movie all fckn daay, word to motherrrr !

anywhoo it's like 2.30am & i'm hella awake & bored outta my ass since eveyone else seems to be sleepinq; que waack . this weekend was fun, spendinq it once aqain with the biffinqton & kuku . there was a bitt of drama in the beqinninq with the couplee (they qet so overdramatic sometimes) but they qot over it & we chilled at chrizzo's crib qettin riqhtttt; i brouqht a bottle of yaqermeizer which i had never drank before soo me & dee took hella shots & topped it off with hella coronas & L's, music blaastinqq - wooppwoopp qood timeeee =D

the other niqhtt me & dee were up all fckn niqht talkinq abt how much our lives suck lol . i mean, of course we have to count our blessinqs since there are soo many others thaat are worse off but as the 20 yr mark draws nearer & the seconds tick by, we both realize that we really need to step our fckn qame up; we have the tendency to shruq everythinq off in life like fuckkkk ittt alllll & we've qotten ridiculously lazy . so we decided it was abt time we attempt to reinvent ourselves in time for the new year . now, when i say reinvent ourselves, i don't mean how we actually are as ppl cuz lord knows there have been those who have tried to do just that but i will never compromise who i am for shitttt . however, we do need to qet focused on our futures & our careers, cuz we all know a btch is trynaaa staack her $$$ ! soo anyways we're qonna make ourselves over - both physically & mentally - in hopes of easinq us into this entire new mindset . ooh & we've come up with to do lists .

• stretch everday (qotta stay limber; can't turn into a qranny just yet - i qot thinqs to do !)
  
• take a womans multivitamin daily (cuz there has to be a way to make up for all the munchiessss)
  
• qo tanninq (no worries, i'm rican; no lindsay lohan oranqe skin over hereeee )
  
• qet another piercinq (i'm thinkinq my lower lip)
  
• requlate sleepinq habits (cuz riqht now completly nocturnal)
  
• clean my fckn room (seriously, its in unspeakable ruins)
  
• qet a SECOND job (cash rules everythinq around me, btchs)
  
• qet my permit (which would lead to my license & then my own car)
  
• qet a mothafckn tattoo (bcuz sadly i am 19 & still have zip, zelch, zero, NADAAA ; que lameee)
  
• do my hairrrr (trim, anqles, banqs, recolor, maybe blue streaks =D haa cuz i'm fckn cool)

okay okay okay soo i'm sure you quys are readinq this like wtf is this dumb btch talkinq abt ?! whaat the fck does ANY of this shit have to do with chanqinq your mindset ?! well basically, we fiqure if we switch some of the more basic shit up, we'll be able to associate the chanqes with our new focused mindsets ... diqq me ?

uqh . idk . whatever . don't ask .

& on thaat note, let me just say
2oo9 is sure to be quite an interestinq yr ...
me & the biffinqton are an unstoppable force
like power ranqers =D

& we do shit like this all the time .

back like cooked craack !

ayee ayee ayee ! my baad i haven't really been on this ishh but i'm back with a couple of updates .

well halloween o8 was poppin ; i went to brooklyn to chill with the biffinqton & kuku (aka my best friend since aqe 4, danielle, & her boyfriend of 5 yrs, sunday aka my two bestest friends everrrrrr) . us & a couple of others qot hella twisted & blew hella piff & went bowlinq all fckd upp ; we had fun lol . i was alice in wonderland & dee was a sexy pirate lol niqqas was sweatin us od but ehh what else is new =P

& then of couse history was made on november 2nd with the election of barack obama as the first black president of the united states: i have mixed feelinqs on that . i mean call me crazy & maybe its just the iqnorance of the ppl that i've come across but i feel that there were waayy to many ppl who jumped on the obama bandwaqon bcuz it was considered the newest "cool thinq to do" or simply bcuz of his race . now pleaseeeeee don't qet me wronq - there's no denyinq that it is definitely a beautiful thinq that with this historic event, minorities are no lonqer have to be limited in their aspirations & that ppl all around the world can look past the color of somebody's skin & see them for their abilities . however, from my own personal experience, there were an distubinq amount of individuals that when asked "why do you feel obama should win this election" they responded simply "because he's qonna be the first black president; he's qonna make history" .. & that's it ! & i would sit there lookinq at them like .. okaayyy .. & whaat else ? i mean how could you say you stand for obama & not even be aware of the issues & where he stands on them ; such as the ecomony, the war, taxes, etc . of course i respect everyone's opinion but only if its a knowledqable one - soo kudos to the niqqas that actually watched the debates & the speeches, kept up with the news, & knew BOTH candidates viewpoints & then made their decision ; no love to the followerssss ! diqq me ?

in other news - on the day of the elections, i decided to qo & hanq out with my most recent ex for the first time ever since we broke up abt a month aqo . we were toqether on & off for like a year & a half . we've been throuqh a lot of shit & i ended up fallinq in love with him ( >:[ ) & but no matter how hard i tried to keep shit from fallinq apart, it was just little issue after little issue & shit just built up into the biq ass issue that maybe we're both just lookinq for different thinqs .. & sometimes you qotta forqet how you feel & remember what you deserve .. soo in the end i made the decision that even know i still feel for him, it was best we just be friends for now & focus on qettin our own lives toqether; if its truly meant, time means nothinq, thinqs will work out eventually . but if its not then i wouldn't wanna waste anymore time on a hopeless situation; & of course i explained all of this to him in detail .. but anywayssss i chilled with this kid & at first i was a little tiqht at myself for aqreeinq to it cuz it was a tad bit awkward . but then we blew some trees & my whole perception of the situation beqan to chanqe . pretty soon i had the "fuckk itt" in my system (ever seen kat williams ? lmao) & i ended up qivinq into the temptation that had slowly bequn to foq up my head . sooooo when it was all done, that left us in a state of "okaay now whaat ?". but when he tried to flip shit on me ("whyyy couldn't you just leave us as friends.") i was forced to brinq it to a "uhm .. we still are .. i mean, this doesnt chanqe anythinq." banqbanqbanq ! & of course i felt bad but in all truth why should i be pinned as the fckd up one since all i'm really doinq actinq like a niqqa ? i mean how many times have other females been in the same situation but then its niqqas that thinkk they can use you for the qoodies & have everythinq still be all sweet ?! how many time have i been in that same situation with this samee niqqaaa ?! like my mami told me, "who would wanna buy a cow when you can qet the milk for free ?" soo i'm wronq bcuz i did it once - okaay plz shoot me . i have needs too dammit & its better than me beinq like these other bird ass btchs & findinq some random next niqqas to fuckk withh; uhm definitley NOT, that's not how i roll . but the whole double standards thinq is old soo i'm over it & you could just suck a dick if you think i'm wronq .

anywaysssssss here a pic of me & my two loves at the bowlinq alley on halloween . hopefully more to come soon but this was the only pic i took - dee has the others & hasn't sent them to me yet; qrrrr >:[


i loveee themmmmmmm =D